It was a bright and sunny day. Samson the Chicken was going home from work. It had been an average work day. Captain Soul and Samson saved 300 Bolivian sailors from a typhoon, 60 French bakers from a hunger strike, and 750 Chilean Marxists from a capitalist society. The streetcar pulled up to the corner and let him out, ten miles from his house. Samson decided to flap his giant, one foot wings with great vigor. He tried to fly, but he found that his wings were tied down by wire. Samson was helpless. He decided to hop to his house. While he was hopping, Samson fell into a hole that was 18 feet deep and five feet wide. It was impossible for him to get back out.
Meanwhile, Z was on vacation, and another man had been substituted as temporary head of S.O.U.L. This man was B. B was paranoid. Captain Soul, after three days, reported that Samson was missing. B was sure that the evil organization, W.R.O.N.G., was behind it all. (W.R.O.N.G. stands for Western Rogues of No Good). So, B mobilized the entire available S.O.U.L. agents, which totaled--two. Those two were Captain Soul and Barber the Butcher. Barber was a reliable helper in case of emergencies. B sent the two men to Samson's house to see if they could find a clue. While Captain Soul searched the house, Barber butchered all the known W.R.O.N.G. agents in the neighborhood. Samson lived in an apartment building, twenty stories high. There were no clues. Then B sent them to the W.R.O.N.G. headquarters. They were to pose as telephone repairmen. Unfortunately, all of the phones were in working order. The W.R.O.N.G. agents knew they weren't repairmen, not because of the condition of the phones, but because they saw one of the repairmen wearing pink tights, and the other wearing a butcher's apron. During the fight between the S.O.U.L. agents and the W.R.O.N.G. agents, Barber the Butcher murdered 14 telephones, thereby needing telephone repairmen. The two S.O.U.L. agents pointed this fact out, so the W.R.O.N.G. agents let them go ahead with their work.
While this was going on, Samson was fluttering in the hole. The evil maniac, Dr. Barney Jacobsen, was holding Samson prisoner. Captain Soul knew that they weren't going to find Samson in W.R.O.N.G. headquarters, because all that they were talking about was hog jowls and fat back. Captain Soul searched his mind for a clue to the recovery of Samson. What evil mind had the dynamic duo put in jail that was out to do them in? He racked his brain and remembered one man, Barney Jacobsen. Could he be the one? Captain Soul knew that Dr. Jacobsen liked digging holes, so he left Barber the Butcher to fix the phones. Since Captain Soul couldn't fly, he took the same streetcar that Samson took to get home. He arrived at the corner that Samson got off from the streetcar. He traced Samson's path. Since Samson weighed so much, it was pretty easy to follow the footprints in the sidewalk. He found the hole where Samson was being held. Dr. Jacobsen threw some chicken wire at Captain Soul, but it missed. Captain Soul gave Dr. Jacobsen one blast of his new weapon, the Tom the Bomb gun. It blew up in his face. Fortunately, Captain Soul was black, so the burns didn't show. Dr. Jacobsen was so shocked that he fell into the hole and was mauled by Samson. Captain Soul arrested Dr. Jacobsen. Samson got out of the hole. Everyone lived happily ever after except for Dr. Jacobsen, who got 50 years for chicken-napping.
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