Monday, May 26, 2014

How Many Strikes?, 2005

Guy:  Hey, how's it goin'?
Girl:  Not so good.
Guy:  What's the matter?
Girl:   It's Baseball.  I don't understand it.
Guy:  What don't you understand?
Girl:  I don't know.  I guess the rules.
Guy:  Pretty simple.  3 strikes and you're out.
Girl:  What else?
Guy:  There is usually 9 innings.
Girl:  Okay?
Guy:  A team tries to get hits to make runs in the inning.
Girl:  Runs?
Guy:  Yeah, that's how you win.
Girl:  Win what?
Guy:  The game.
Girl:  What are outs?
Guy:  An out is what you get when you don't get a hit.
Girl:  Wouldn't it be better to get out than to get hit?
Guy:  Now, I see you are confused.
Girl:  That's what my husband says.
Guy:  I'm not surprised.
Girl:  Huh?
Guy:  Never mind.
Girl:  So, let me get this straight...There are two teams.  Each team tries to get hits so they can make
          runs.  The more runs helps them win.
Guy:  Yes.
Girl:  Now, what was it about strikes?
Guy:  The pitcher throws the ball at you and...
Girl:  Wait a minute.  Why does he throw the ball at ME?
Guy:  That's his job.  Now, you swing your bat and try and hit the ball...
Girl:  Before the ball hits me?
Guy:  Have you been hit in the head by a ball before?
Girl:  No, why?
Guy:  Just checking.  If you miss hitting the ball, that's a strike.
Girl:  And after 3 strikes, I'm out?
Guy:  Yes.
Girl:  I guess that's better than being knocked out by the ball.
Guy:  I give up.
Girl:  That's what my husband said.
Guy:  You know, baseball is kind of like life.
Girl:  It is?
Guy:  Yes.  There's Good and Bad.  Good usually wins, but a lot of times, there are different pitches
          thrown at you.  Curveballs, Knuckleballs, Fastballs, and Sliders.  You just have to know which
          one to hit and how far it will go.  Then you run fast and try to get home.
Girl:  Now, if only I can understand football...
Guy:  (throws up hands and walks off)

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