How I Spent My Summer Vacation (A Diary) by A Belk Associate

 My summer vacation started quietly.  I went to work after partying all night.  My supervisor noticed I was falling over the merchandise, but I told her that it was the holes in the carpet.  Then, it was like I got real hungry and had to go eat something.  Two hours later I came back on the floor, but if you check my time card you'll find I forgot to clock back in.  Then my friend from high school whom I hadn't seen since yesterday came in and we talked until I had to leave to go home.
 The second day of my summer vacation, I got up and looked around for my name tag.  The dog had it sticking out of his mouth.  All the black stuff had come off.  I wasn't about to wear that to work and mess up my clothes, so I told them that I lost it.  They gave me another one, but I dropped it in somebody's bag along with the receipt, so I took another person's name tag, so now nobody knows my real name.  I rung a layaway on the register today.  It took me three tries to do it, but the woman wasn't too mad.  She did want to know why my name was "Doris Bullwinkle".  Later that day, a guy with a pipe asked me how long I'd been with Belk.  I said that I wasn't married.  He looked at me funny, but I don't know why.  Maybe he was taking a survey.
 The third day of my vacation I got called to the office.  I thought that I was in trouble, but they just wanted to ask me what my social security number was.  They didn't have anyone listed by my name in their files.  I don't know why unless "Doris" didn't exist to begin with.  Anyway, I went back to the register and heard it humming.  I thought it was broken.  Somebody told me that it was supposed to do that.  So, I tried to play with the keys, but it kept beeping at me.  I decided then I wouldn't fool with that machine anymore and just stick to watching people walk by.  But then, I got to thinking somebody could steal the register if I didn't watch it, so I leaned on it to discourage anyone to take it.  It couldn't weight a lot.
 On the fourth day of my vacation, I was sick...  I don't feel like writing anymore today.
 It is now the eighty-sixth day of my summer vacation.  It is time to go back to school.  It has been like crazy this summer.  No time to work, because I had to go to the beach with my family and my friends and spend at least two weeks there.  I'm sure they understood when I called in.  Maybe I can work again at Christmas if I don't have anything to do.