What Now?, 2015

So much               So little time
To do                    To wait for more
To see                   But not at all
To laugh               While I cry inside.


Where is the someday?
Where is the afterthought?
Where are the hopes?
The dreams?
The keys?


How big is the wall?
Can I let you inside?
Only if you promise to leave...
Soon.


Everything that's done
Is over.
Everything to come
Is waiting.


I hate to wait.

The War of the Wars, 1970

Narrator.     Welcome to "Meet the Nation".  Today we have with us ten men each or whom
                    represents a particular war.  They will be interviewed by Charles Brayman of the
                    "New York Times" and Harold Lawson of the "Washington Post".  Your moderator
                    is Laurence Crantz.  Mr. Crantz--
Crantz.        Good day ladies and gentlemen.  This is a special edition of "Meet the Nation".  We
                    are happy today to have with us these distinguished men.  We will start the questioning
                    with Mr. Brayman.
Brayman.    Thank you Mr. Crantz.  General Wolfe, please state your position on the French and
                    Indian War.
Wolfe.         Certainly, I believe that the French and Indian War was the most important war in
                    America's history because, if you remember, the British, or later the Americans,
                    defeated the French and the Indians and this led to the expansion of the United States
                    into the rest of this continent.  This war made our country what it is today and without
                    this war, our country would be just thirteen states.
Brayman.    Thank you General Wolfe, General Washington, what is your position on the American
                    Revolution.
Washington.For many reasons, I think our war for independence made our nation what it is today.
Brayman.    And what are those reasons for the war, sir?
Washington.We might still be a colony of England today.  We would not have the Declaration of
                    Independence or the Constitution.
Brayman.    I see.  In other words, the American Revolution, in your opinion, was the most
                    important war.
Crantz.        Mr. Lawson?  Will you continue the questioning?
Lawson.      Thank you Mr. Crantz.  Admiral Perry, please explain your position with the War of
                    1812.
Perry.          The War of 1812 was the most important war in forwarding democracy.  It showed
                    that no foreign power could try and retake land as Britain tried.  Of course she failed.
                    She failed because the United States was much stronger than Britain.
Lawson.      Thank you Mr. Perry.  Mr. Crockett, please explain to our viewers about the Mexican
                    War.
Crockett.     Remember the Alamo!  That's what it was all about.  The Mexican War showed them
                    Mexicans that there ain't nobody that could conquer the United States of America.
                    We gave those Mexicans, dee-mock-acee.
Lawson.      How did the Civil War become the most important war, General Lee?
Lee.             The Civil War gave equality to every person.  This gave us the democratic way of
                    life, as we know it today.
Crantz.        Mr. Brayman?  Will you continue the questioning?
Brayman.    Yes thank you.  Mr. Roosevelt, tell us about the Spanish-American War.
Roosevelt.   Bully!  Bully!  The Spanish-American War showed the world how we tolerate people
                    who blow up our ships.  Remember the Maine!!  Bully!
Brayman.    Mr. Roosevelt, you seem quite disturbed about this.
Roosevelt.   Mr. Brayman?  You can't be calm about a war.
Crantz.        We have to pause for a moment.  Here is a word from our sponsor.
Narrator.      In the current issue of "Look at Life" magazine, there is a special report on the growing
                    problem of water pollution in the United States.  It is a stimulating and provocative
                    article.  Good reading in "Look at Life".  Buy it wherever good magazines are sold.
                    "Look at Life", everybody else does.  Now back to our special edition of "Meet the
                    Nation".
Crantz.        Mr. Brayman, will you continue questioning?
Brayman.    Thank you Mr. Crantz.  General Pershing, what did World War I do and what was it
                    supposed to have done?
Pershing.     "The war to end all wars".  World War I showed the Germans that the United States
                    can win over any country that tries to take over the world by force.
Brayman.    Thank you, Mr. Pershing, General Eisenhower, how does World War II compare to
                    World War I and how do they differ?
Eisenhower.The United States continued their efforts laid out in World War I.  The United States
                    showed Germany again that the world could not be taken over by another country.
                    By spreading our men throughout the world, we brought freedom to the world.  The
                    real way that World War I differed from World War II was Adolf Hitler.  He thought
                    he could rule the world for a thousand years, but we, the United States, proved that
                    he was wrong.
Crantz.        Mr. Lawson?  continue please.
Lawson.      General MacArthur?  What did we gain from the Korean Conflict?
MacArthur. We showed those Commies that they can't mess around with the United States Army,
                    and they can't invade a small country like Korea.  We showed them that the United
                    States Army is the strongest army in the world.
Lawson.      Tell us about Vietnam, Mr. Westmoreland.
Westmoreland. If we could just end this war in Vietnam, we could bring peace to the world.  But
                    we can't end the Vietnam War because it is going on forever.  The United States Army
                    was a strong army, but not anymore.  This war is unwinnable.
Crantz.        And that is our special edition of "Meet the Nation".  Thank you representatives of the
                   American wars and thank you ladies and gentlemen for listening to this program.
                   Tune in next week for...
MacArthur. Now hold on there, I haven't told you about them dirty Commies.  Those sadists are
                    nothing but a bunch of lousy, no good, jungle warfare, cruel individuals, with no
                    regard for human life.
Pershing.     Let me tell you about the Vietnam War, Mr. Westmoreland.  Every week about 150
                    of our men are killed and 2000, on average, are killed, who are the North Vietnamese.
                    Mr. Westmoreland?, who is it that we kill 2000 Viet Cong each week if they are
                    smaller than we are, and they know the countryside better than we do?  How can we
                    possibly kill 2000 a week?
Westmoreland. We are just smarter than they are.
Crantz.        Now gentlemen, please calm down, we are off the air.
MacArthur. Calm down?  This is war.  I declare war on Mr. Pershing!
Pershing.     And I declare war on Mr. Westmoreland.
                    (a light focuses on the right side of the stage.  a tall, fair-headed man walks on the
                    stage.  he walks toward the table with the representatives of the wars.  this character
                    shines like an angel.)
Washington.Who are you?
Peace.          My name is Peace.
Crockett.      Peace?  What can YOU do?
Peace.          I make peace for all wars.
Lee.             Well, you better settle this war, here and now.
Peace.          All right.  Mr. Pershing, World War I was settled through Wilson's Fourteen Points.
                    It brought peace to the world.  Mr. MacArthur, the dividing line between North and
                    South Korea, brought peace to that part of the world.  Mr. Westmoreland, I am
                    trying to bring peace in Vietnam and those Paris Peace Talks are not doing a bit of
                    good.  You better help peace come to Vietnam.
Westmoreland. You know he's right.
Peace.          It isn't so much which war is more important, or which war led up to the democratic
                    society today, as it is to realize that peace conquers war and every war has resulted
                    in peace.  If we could get peace in Vietnam, then my goals would be achieved.  Let
                    us have peace in the world so that it will be a better place to live in.  If you love one
                    another, we will have peace.
                                                                      THE END

Letter, 1973

Every human being
Their home
The World


Dear Everyone,


We, of the movement to stop the War in Vietnam, having achieved our purpose, declare to mankind that we are not stopping the movement.  Our main goal is not to stop the Vietnam War but to bring peace to the world.  We recognize that the Vietnam War is the longest war in American history, and bringing it to a close is a great achievement.  We must emphasize, though, that this is not the only troublespot in the world.  As long as there are American soldiers in foreign countries, we must keep protesting American involvement.  Vietnam is a drop in the proverbial bucket of peace.  In a future time in our government, we will have a president, who will send soldiers to another point in the world to fight a war.


The Anderson College chapters of the National Peace Action Coalition, the Individuals Against the Crime of Silence, and the United Society will continue to fight for peace, because just because the war in Vietnam is over, doesn't mean that peace has automatically come.  We will also fight to bring domestic freedom.  Our goals now include the abolishment of poverty, hunger, disease, pollution, and all war.  As a song goes, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me."


PEACE!


Walter Durst--president of
the Anderson College chapters of
the National Peace Action Coalition
the Individuals Against the Crime of Silence
and
the founder of the United Society.


PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE
                                                                           NOW
                                                                           NOW
                                                                           NOW

Untitled, 1981

 Singles are looking for ways to make their lives meaningful. Over the last several years, many books have been written to try to help the individual in obtaining a purpose in life.  At First Baptist Church of Columbia, South Carolina, this purpose has been achieved by two mission trips to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
 In 1980, the Singles Department at First Baptist wanted to reach out beyond the confines of its own community, so the Home Mission Board suggested that they look to the Delaware Valley Baptist Association, and especially Philadelphia, where they might be some help to this fledgling Southern Baptist ministry.  With some advance work between Baxter Wynn of First Baptist, Columbia and Gaynor Yancey of Philadelphia, the agreement was reached.  First Baptist would send twenty singles to Philadelphia to conduct two Vacation Bible Schools in the Kensington area of Philadelphia and work out of the Frankford Avenue Baptist Church.  Ms. Yancey, who was the Director of Christian Service Ministries for Delaware Valley, served as their contact and guide.
 The group from First Baptist consisted of teachers, artists, technicians, and other assorted professions, who used their vacation time for this project.  Each grade, pre-school through sixth grade, had a worker, and there were four people who did puppet shows for both schools.
 The twenty singles lived in Frankford Avenue Church for the week that they were there.  Due to the high-crime area where the church was located, the door to the church had to be locked at all times.  There was a doorbell at the entrance to the church, and a code had to be set-up whereby the singles would know if one of their own was at the door, as opposed to just anybody trying to get into the church.
 The first day of Vacation Bible School was a complete disaster.  All of the plans that were made by the teachers failed.  The children would not listen to their teachers.  There was an atmosphere of total anarchy on the part of the children, and the singles went back to the church that afternoon feeling frustrated and helpless.  The plans that had taken over three months to formulate were shot down and destroyed in a little over three hours.  The fifth and sixth grades wither knew all of the Bible stories or didn't want to listen.  The pre-school area had to contend with the mothers of the children watching over their little ones, since they didn't trust the singles.
 At the beginning of Tuesday morning, before VBS, there was a prayer meeting, where the singles asked God to give them strength and patience with the children.  They also prayed that the hearts of the children would be opened to the message that they had to give.  A miracle happened that morning, because when the group began the schools, the children paid attention to their teachers and to the puppet shows.  It was as though an entirely new group of kids had replaced the old group.  The rest of the week was very successful.  The plans were altered to meet the needs of the children.  For example, the fifth and sixth grades were told stories about Nicky Cruz and gang-fights in New York, because they seemed to listen better to stories that they could relate to.
 Over the course of the week, the singles group had been told to lock-up everything, because the children were inclined to steal.  At the end of the week, the group had been very fortunate that nothing had been taken.  Friday afternoon, there was no one in the church when a couple of singles needed to get into the locked church.  Seeing their predicament, a couple of children came to their rescue by taking off the screen to one of the windows and climbing in to unlock the door.  The singles asked them why they had not done this before, and the children responded by saying that they liked this group from First Baptist and didn't want to hurt them.
 When it came time to leave Philadelphia, the hearts of both groups of people were breaking.  The children had grown very fond of their teachers, and the singles didn't want to leave the neighborhood.  Several kids tried to hide inside the vans or on the top of the trailer, but the singles had to reluctantly tell them to go.  As the two vans of singles left Philadelphia, the children ran after them, and there was not a dry eye in the group.
 With the enthusiasm that they brought back from their trip, the Singles made their church aware of the mission opportunities in the Philadelphia area, so plans were started to return to Philadelphia the following year.
 In March, 1981, Gaynor Yancey visited First Baptist in Columbia to thank those who had been to Philadelphia the previous year and to acquaint the church with the continuing need for social ministries.  In May, the singles signed up to teach Vacation Bible School.  Where there were twenty people who signed up in 1980, over seventy people expressed an interest in going to Philadelphia this time.  During the next three months, several singles dropped out, but almost forty singles did make the commitment to go to Philadelphia.
 Many changes were made, mainly due to the size of the group, but also because there was more to do this year.  The church that they would be working in was Trinity Baptist Church in the Fairmount Park area of Philadelphia.  The neighborhood was not as rough as the one in Kensington, but perhaps just as run-down.  There would only be one school, instead of two, so there was more specialization on the part of each person who went.  For example, the church needed repairs, so there were some people who went for the expressed purpose of helping with the construction.  In the area of the VBS itself, there were the teachers for pre-school through sixth grade, but there were also people in charge of crafts, telling Bible stories, recreation, and puppet shows.  Another difference was the attitude of First Baptist Church in sending the singles to this mission place.  In 1980, the WMU gave the singles food for the week and planned out meals, but this time around, the church as a whole gave money to the group to use for their expenses.  The most meaningful difference was that of prayer support.  Certainly, there were people praying for the first trip, but the second trip was more prayer-oriented.  Each member of the mission trip was assigned to one or more people in the church to pray for that person, by name, every day of the week.  The strength of that prayer was evident the first day of VBS, because over sixty children came to the park where the school was held, even though only about twenty children were expected to attend.
 In addition to the puppet show being performed for each grade every day, a day camp, which was not related to the VBS, allowed their children to attend the shows, and the singles used that ministry as a special witness to the neighborhood.
 On Friday, the singles worked with the fourth, fifth, and sixth grades in presenting the plan of salvation to these children.  Several children responded favorably to this overture by the singles, and Bibles were distributed so that every child would have his own copy.
 When the singles left Philadelphia this time, there were no children running after the vans, mainly due to the fact that they left in a blinding rainstorm, but a couple of children stood out in the rain to say goodbye to their favorite teachers.
 First Baptist Church Singles are doing something for the Lord and are also doing something for themselves in improving their own self-image.  They plan to continue this cooperation with Philadelphia long into the future.

Without Self

Mrs. Parsons.   Anything interesting in the paper?


Mr. Parsons.    Don't be silly dear.  Oh, here's an item.  "Police Raid House, Catch 12 people with
                        Drugs".  Wonder if James knows any of them?


Mrs. Parsons.  Oh George, you can't be serious, could you?  Our James is a good boy.  He wouldn't
                        associate with those kind of delinquents!


Mr. Parsons.    Perhaps you're right dear.  What's for dinner?


Mrs. Parsons.  Veal and rice.  Better go check on it.


                        (Mr. Parsons continues reading the newspaper for approx. 30 seconds, when James
                         enters and starts walking across the room without speaking.)


Mr. Parsons.    What's the matter?  Cat got your tongue?  What do you say?


James.              Good evening father.


Mr. Parsons.     That's better, now where have you been?


James.               Out.


Mr. Parsons.      Out where?


James.                I was out walking, that's all.


Mr. Parsons.      Well James, you had better wash up.  Dinner is almost ready.


                           (James walks out without replying.  Mrs. Parsons comes back in.)


Mrs. Parsons.     Did I hear James come in?


Mr. Parsons.       Yes, something seemed to be bothering him.


Mrs. Parsons.      Well, dinner's ready.  Call the kids.


Mr. Parsons.        Susan!  James!  Supper's ready.
                            (Susan runs through the living rook and turns back towards door in which she
                            came just as James comes in, walking slowly.)
Susan.                 Come on James.  Supper's ready.
James.                 I'm coming.  Just don't rush me, okay?
                                                        End of scene I


                                                        Scene II--dinner table


Mrs. Parsons.     Did you have a good day at school, James?


James.                Uh, what did you say?


Mrs. Parsons.     Did you have a good day at school?


James.                Uh, oh yeah, sure did.


Mr. Parsons.      That's not the way to talk to your mother.


James.                Yes mam, I had a nice day.


Mr. Parsons.       That's better.  Eat your dinner.


James.                 I'm not hungry.


Mrs. Parsons.      You seemed to always like veal and rice before.
Susan.                 Maybe he's sick
James.                (rising violently and storming out of the room)  Sick of life!
Mrs. Parsons.     You better have a talk with your son.  He's never acted this way before.
Mr. Parsons.       You bet I will.  I can't have an outburst like that in THIS house! (exits)
Susan.                 Maybe he's just sick.
Mrs. Parsons.     Maybe it's something he ate.  Could it be the veal?  How was you day today Susan?
Susan.                Same as usual, Mom.
Mrs. Parsons.     Get any tests back?
Susan.                No mam.
                          (continue eating until Mr. Parsons comes back with a shocked expression
                          on his face)
Mrs. Parsons.    Well, honey how did it go?
Mr. Parsons.      He says that he's sick of life.  He told me that he's just fed up with everything
                          and wants to die.
Mrs. Parsons.    Why dear?
Mr. Parsons.      I think it has to do with that drug story in the paper.
Mrs. Parsons.    He takes drugs?
Mr. Parsons.      I don't know.  He might be.
Susan.               Don't be ridiculous.  He's just sick.
                                                                End of Scene II


                         Scene III--a few days later, Sandy and James are sitting in the living room, since
                         James has been grounded for a month.  He can't go out except to school and even
                         then he's got to be back as soon as school is out.


James.              ...And so my parents told me that if I didn't straighten up and fly right that I'd have
                        to be grounded for a month.


Sandy.             What's the problem, Jim?


James.              I don't know, it just seems like there's nothing to live for.


Sandy.             Sure there is.  What about love?


James.             You're the only one I can talk to.  I just can't seem to get it together.  My parents
                        think I take drugs.  My sister thinks I'm sick.  My friends think I'm a fag.  All I
                        have is you.


Sandy.            Jim, don't worry about it.  It will be all right.  You just wait and see.


James.            But my whole world is crumbling.
Sandy.            Hey listen, Jim, you got me.
James.            That's all I need.  (Mrs. Parsons enters)
Mrs. Parsons. All right.  Time's up, James.  Sandy's got to go home.
James.            It's only 10 o'clock.
Mrs. Parsons. Goodbye Sandy.
Sandy.            Goodbye, Mrs. Parsons.  Thank you for letting me come over.
Mrs. Parsons. You're quite welcome.  Come back again.
Sandy.             I will.  Goodbye James.
James.             Bye, Thanks for coming over.  See you tomorrow.
Sandy.            Okay, Goodbye. (exits)
Mrs. Parsons. Well, how was it.
James.             Oh Mom, it's not my idea of fun.
Mrs. Parsons. If you'd just straighten up and fly right then you COULD go out.  Now, why don't
                       you go to bed?
James.            Why don't you leave me alone?
Mrs. Parsons. I'm just doing what's best for you.  (end of Act I)

A White Oak Staffer, 1982

A White Oak Staffer is a strange breed,
Intellectual stimulation is what they need,
A job description--there is none,
And perhaps, there should be one.


So, here are some things listed below,
But, I'm sure there are many mo'.


1.   Wash dishes
2.   Arrange chairs in conference rooms
3.   Run canteen
4.   Assist in reservation forms
5.   Assist in checking in conferees
6.   Answer phone
7.   Lock-up buildings at night
8.   Put-up and take-down the flags
9.   Arrange serving line with appropriate food and drinks
10. Help serve the food
11. Help in bookstore
12. Round-up paddle boats
13. Put-out towels in rooms
14. Assist in first-aid room
15. Wrap silverware
16. Empty food and drink machines of money
17. Set-up audio-visual equipment when needed
18. assist at swimming pool
19. run errands
20. Help conferees with boxes
21. Wait on tables if banquet
22. Wipe tables
23. Move rocking chairs
24. Whatever else might be needed to do over the course of an average day and night


Yes, a staffer is a friend and helper to all,
But, oh what a joy when no one calls--
For a staffer to come back,
Because then it's time for a nap attack.

Whatever You Call Him, 2006

1.  Father
2.  Dad
3.  Daddy
4.  Pop
1.  Papa
2.  Pa
3.  Whatever you call him...
4.  His name is yours.
1.  He put together toys at Christmas.
2.  He fixed your bike.
3.  He took you on trips.
4.  You got your first car.
3.  He wore the ties you gave him.
1.  Maybe he was there for you.
2.  And maybe not...
3.  But he was your father.
4.  Whatever you call him.
2.  Some are still here.
3.  And some have gone on.
1.  Today we honor fathers.
2.  This is their day.
3.  Our heavenly father blesses them...
4.  Every day.
1.  Happy Father's Day...
2.  Father
3.  Dad
4.  Daddy
1.  Pop
2.  Papa
3.  Pa
4.  And thank our Father for YOUR children.
1.  Wherever they are.

You Broke The Rock, 1990

You broke the rock in my heart baby
You make me feel like I'm on cloud nine
You broke me out of my jail honey
And with you I'm feeling fine.


Too many times my heart had been broken,
Too many tears had come from my eyes,
Too many letters had gone unanswered,
Too many calls and no one's at home.


When I'm with you--my life is so happy,
When I'm with you--I feel so free,
When I'm with you--I can't stop laughing,
'Cause when I'm with you--you're with me.


We may not always live together
We may not laugh every day forever
We may not dream of a life unceasing
But I can't live today without you.

Writing on the Wall, 1991

I went into a restaurant
To get a bite to eat,
I looked around for a waiter,
And I heard the food couldn't be beat.


I went to the rest room
To wash my hands before the food,
And I looked up to see
The writing on the wall.


The words on the tiles
 didn't make much sense,
All it said was
 "Life makes a good defense."


I went outside and asked around
Did anybody know what it meant,
Nobody did, but one looked at me,
And said, Maybe it's where we're sent.


He was no help as I left there,
And I went out to the street,
There I stopped a lot of folks,
Everyone I'd meet.


I told them I'd seen
The writing on the wall,
They just stared back at me,
Then I heard that familiar call.


Police!  Police!  one woman yelled,
And I ran away toward a local church,
I walked inside looking for a priest,
There were none but a parrot on a perch.


I asked the parrot what did it mean
The writing on the all--
He looked at me as if to smile
And said "Go down the hall."


I went down the hall
Which led to a door,
I opened it wide and
Fell on the floor.


I got up to see
A man pointing up,
I looked at what it was,
It was the writing on the wall.


The writing on the wall makes you crazy,
The writing on the wall makes you scream,
The writing on the wall makes you sick,
But it's only a dream.

Wrong?, 1971

To bare a life,
Is like killing all strife,
You got to have peace,
To find wars to cease.

Wow, 1974

The sky is green,
The grass is blue,
My world was turned around,
When I met you.


The clouds are brown,
The trees are white,
I feel so good,
Being with you tonight.


Oh my whole world
Is upside down from you,
You've made my life
Go good, too.


We're happy now,
And we will be
Happier later,
Don't you see?


The roads are gold,
The sun is black.
And now I'm gone,
And now I'm back.

The World (part 4), 1970

segregation
integration--Black Panthers
                    Students for a Democratic Society
                    Weathermen
                    Chicago Seven
                    Black Militants--Watts
                                                Newark
                                                Harlem
                                                Detroit
                                                Washington--Riots
                                                                      Demonstrations
                                                                      Strikes
                                                                      Murder
                                                                      Assassinations
Nazis
Communists
Students Non-violent Coordinating Committee (SNCC)
National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP)
Women's Liberation Front (WLF)
Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC)
Office of Economic Opportunity (OEO)
Welfare--Medicare


What is happening?             Censorship
                                             Clean Water
                                             Clean Air
                                             Over Population--Hunger
                                                                          Poverty
                                                                                  Peace Now
                                             Inflation
                                             Income Tax
                                                                          Black Power--Power to the People
Congress--Nationalists--Imperialists
          Make love not War
Pig--Fascist--Bigot--Racist--John Birch Society


Why is it happening?           Tricky Dicky
                                             Spiro the Greek
                                             George Wallace
                                             Hubert Humphrey
                                             Democrats
                                             Republicans
                                             Conservatives
                                             Liberals
                                             Independents
HEW--HUD
      William Rogers
         Melvin Laird
             John Mitchell


...And the World                 Vietnam            U.S.S.R.              London
                                                Middle East      Berlin                 Paris
Rome                                   Bangkok           Taipei                  Peru
  Zurich                                    Hong Kong      Argentina           Brazil
Geneva                                Greece               Africa                 Europe
  Albania                                  Red China        Asia                    Ireland
  Poland   Yugoslavia
      Czechoslovakia


                   ...And these people
Mao Tse Tung--Kosygin--De Gaulle--Ho Chi Minh--
Thieu--Ky--Heath--The Queen--Constantine--Chiang--
Devlin


                                          How?
PEACE--HOPE--LOVE--UNDERSTANDING--
TOGETHERNESS--KINDNESS--World Law--United
Nations--Disarmament--TRUST


What are we coming to?
Hope is the only thing that we have to use.
Without Hope, we cannot have How.  We do not need the
Whos and Whats.
  Let's show Peace, Hope, and Love in our hearts and
        Make This a better world to live in.


Some had hope,
But the world couldn't cope
With the problems and people of today,
Show us the way. 
                               
        

The Ballad of Choctaw Ridge, 1969

This is the story of Choctaw Ridge,
And a man that jumped of the Talahachee Bridge,
He lived to see the Yankees comin',
And the drummer boys a drummin'.


One day a soldier dressed in blue,
Wanted to see a cow that mooed,
The cow he saw was Joe's,
And Joe felt mighty low.


Joe said, "Yank,
Go down to the bank,
And get the cash,
And the corn mash."


The Yankee was surprised for sure,
He thought this farmer was poor,
He wasn't going to let this man boss him around,
So he said, "Let's have a show down."


The day came for the big fight,
The farmer pulled the trigger with all his might,
The Yankee took careful aim,
Because for this he had fame.


The farmer's gun was shot,
The Yankee's bullet had hit the spot,
On the farmer's shirt,
Where all the dirt,
Was by his heart,
The mortician said, "Bring in the cart."


It was twenty days after the fight,
Where the farmer pulled the trigger with all of his might,
And the Yankee felt real bad,
And oh so terribly sad,
He jumped off the bridge,
Off Choctaw Ridge.


And this ends the ballad of the Yankee man,
And the farmer, who is lying under this land,
In a grave,
Oh, he was so brave.

How Do I Know?, 1969

When I am tired,
And go to sleep,
I hear the ghosts and goblins creep.


I think it's a dream,
But how do I know,
It could be the wind as it blows,
How do I know?
How do I know?
How do I know if the wind blows,
How do I know?
How do I know?
I know just what it is.


On Halloween night when I am scared,
I try not to show my terrible fright,
I try to run away,
But the ghosts just keep me in their sight.


Oh, if I go out on the 31st again,
I'll never be frightened, no not again,
I'll try to be a man, Yes I will,
I just can't stand still.


How do I know?
How do I know?
How do I know?
How do I know?
How do I know just what it is,
How do I know?
How do I know?
How do I know just what it is?

A Seed in the Wind, 1969

One day a seed is planted in the ground,
The seed is so smooth and so round,
And when it rains, the ground gets wet,
And now the seed and air have met,
The seed grows its roots,
And it brings forth a green chute.


When it gets very tall,
The leaves on it do fall,
And on each leaf is a seed,
This in a plant is its need,
And then the leaves blow away,
Blows the wind that special day.


The seed travels everywhere,
Over every bird and bear,
It travels as long as the wind doth blow,
And then it lands on the water while it flows,
And when the water flows to a lake,
Little seed awake.


It is planted in the sand,
With God's helping hand,
It grows to make a little tree,
In the middle of the salty sea,
This little tree has not sinned,
With God's helping hand from blowing in the wind.


The tree will live,
It has so much to give,
Someday a man will chop it down,
It will be tied and bound,
And carried off to be some wood,
Oh if it would talk, it could,
It would say, "I was a tree,
For you and me,
I had a seed,
Which you will need,
For he which plants the seed beneath the sod,
And waits for it to raise the clod,
He trusts in God".

The World (part 6), 1971

Happy?
Sad?
Love?
Hate?
Life?
Death?
Questions?
Answers?
Why are we here?
Where are we going?
No one knows.


People,
Places,
Power,
Pacifists,
All words--what about reasons?


War.
Money.
Business.
Music.
Realism.


PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE PEACE
                                                    NOW
                                                    NOW
                                                    NOW

The World (part 3), 1968

The world is a big, round ball,
The world is rising and it falls,
But everyday is the same old day,
You know this is true,
Yes I do.


Wars and battles go on,
People scatter like pawns,
Everyday is the same old day,
Why is it,
I don't know, I just don't know.


Peace talks continue without a break,
Everybody eats a three-inch steak,
Why is everybody living while others are dying,
I don't know, but I do know why,
It's you!  It's you!
You know what?
It's your fault,
Your fault,
You!

World War III, 1974

Too often people die
that I know, and I wonder
who will be next, or maybe
the dead person will be me.


Everyday, I take my life
into my own hands by
walking on the street with
all our crazy drivers.


But who knows?


A rock could drop from
the sky and wipe us
all out and no one would
think about death, then.

Untitled

Take me to see
The Wizard.
The Wizard of Was.


What was is now
What can is gone
What could is done
What would is dead.


I wasn't scared
When they told me no
I didn't cry
When they told me no.


Just take me back
To what was was
To a time where we
Played beneath the stars.


We laughed and made
Up stories from the past
Our lives were so different
From what they are now.


Take me back to
See the Wizard of Was.
Make me into a child
Again--so I am not afraid anymore.

Willie, Waylon, and Wanda, 1979

You listen to country music
            and disco until dawn...
You laugh at the insane things
            and at crazy people...
You talk about the power
            and admire the glory...
You are a paradox of fun.


There was a time when a person
 made me have fun and there were
  no strings attached and my
   withdrawal from that fun
    was almost unbearable.


Then you came along and filled
 a gap where a friend once was
  and the fun is there as well
   as the friendship and I
    thank you for that.


You take pictures
         and you are a picture...
         and you are a country girl
         at heart in the big city--Poor Kitty.

Why Can't I? (Part 1), 1971

Why can't I see
What is meant to be?


Why was life brought to me?
Can't I see?
I want to know for myself.
Why can't I?


Why are people so very strange?
Can't you get within your range?
I know it's so very hard.
Why can't I?


Why are we so very cruel?
Can't we ever love?
I want to know for myself.
Why can't I?


Who do people just not care?
Can't you see what burdens you bear?
I think I know for myself.
Why can't you?  Oh, I'm sorry, it's me (my fault)


Why Can't I?


(What we have here is a failure to communicate)

Why Hate?, 1970

Why do people hate?
They wait for that avengeful date,
They put their rifles over their shoulders,
And they hide behind life's boulders.


There are sadists all around,
In every city and town,
They shoot and they kill,
On the top of life's hill.


They laugh and laugh,
While they cut people in half,
Why can't people have love?
Don't push or shove.


The sadists are our leaders,
Some are liars and some are cheaters,
Let all wars cease,
And let us please have peace.

Why?, 1972

Why was the world made for men?
Why did happiness conquer the world?
Why has sadness taken over the world?
Why was the world created?


When was the world made for men?
When did happiness conquer the world?
When has sadness taken over the world?
When was the world created?


All questions no answers no happiness, too.
All people no worlds are in content, too.
Why did the people conquer the world?
Why did the world survive?

Will it be Different This Time?, 1978

I am not here to uphold
yourself, and I am not here
to stay with you, but if
you think that you are to
stay with me--you're right.


Did I say that just now?
as it seems for now, that's
true, but what I'm saying
here is that you and I are
happy and let it be now.


I can't take you away
from another nor do I
pretend to try, but just
being a friend to you is
enough for me right now.


Dance and have fun, for
that's all I want for
you and maybe your fun
can carry over into my
life for a while.

Which is Worse, 1972

Yesterday my best friend died--
Of an overdose of Heroin,
He died not knowing what to do,
And he was going to die anyway.


I went up there to murder him,
But I arrived too late,
I saw the hearse,
So which is worse:  murder or being strung out on smack.


We'll go to his funeral today,
Many people will be there--crying,
But are they crying because he's dead,
Or are they crying because he has been dead for years?


I told someone why I came up here to murder my friend,
He congratulated me on my efforts,
But I asked my favorite question as I saw the hearse,
Which is worse:  murder or being strung out on smack--it's a killer!

While Recovering from the Flu

It's funny how
someone so beautiful
could give you
something so bad.


My sister, who I
like very much,
had the flu, and
she gave it to me.


Now, she is all
right, but I'm going
through it.


Oh where is someone that
I can give it to?

Untitled, 2004

 What does it matter?  I hear that said, but do I believe it?  Probably not.  I guess I care too much.  My conscience hurts.  Where are my friends?  A lot of advice, but no help.  Can I afford food, shelter, gas?  Yes, no, maybe.
 When I was younger, so much younger than today...  That summed it up best.
 Mother's gone.  Daddy's gone.  John has his world.  I have mine.
 How will it end?  Like BJ?  Maybe.  Like Wade?  Maybe.  Dying is not honorable, unless it is your time.  When is my time?  Is it less honorable to choose your time?  Probably.  Judy said it best.  She wanted to help people like me.  The crazies.  I don't know if she did or not.  She did marry Steve.  He wasn't crazy.  He was a musician.  51, huh?  I'm trying to fight.  But it may be time to go.  Hello, I must be going...  Where is the laughter?
 Where is the kid in me?  Did I ever grow up?  Am I growing up now?  Am I Job?  God, help me.  I pray for strength.  I pray for courage.  I pray for life.  I pray for help.  You are everything.  I am nothing.  I know I am special.  You have said so.  You have given me great talents.  I have used them for your glory.
 The glory and majesty of Your name.  Hallelujah  Hallelujah.  Spelling doesn't count.  Words mean nothing.
 What is an act?  What is real?
 Who am I?  Am I real?
 Roller coaster.
            Help.
 Depression, Sadness, Worry,
 No one loves me, or do they?
 Why am I alone?
             or am I?
 Shy and alone, or at least shy.
 I can't read what he wrote.  I can't read his writing.  I wish I knew he had problems.

Who can it Be

Bruce, John, Bob,
Tom, Ed, Larry,
Sam


Who are these people?
I don't know, but to
say that they're not
friends of mine.


Maybe they will be in
years to come, but these
people don't mean a thing
to me now.


Jane, Karen, Florence,
Mary, Sandy, Gladys,
Ellen


Who are these people?
I know some of them,
Maybe you know all of them,
But don't feel bad if you don't know anybody.

Where Is It?, 1983

Come down to me
                             little one.
               and see the lightness
         of your dreams.


Your eyes match the colors
           of the rainbow
on a sunny day,
         and your tears make
                    the dew seem real.


Catch the wind of your soul
                                            little one.
          and fly through the clouds
                of your mind.


And if we should see
           them together,
then find a place to
         be for New Year's Eve, 1984.


You are all you've got
                                   little one.

Where Am I Now? (Another Psychoanalytical Note), 1984

 Today could have been a very happy day.  Depression is such that I cannot pull up from it.  In reflecting on past thoughts of suicide, the question really remains--Why?  Why not?  A master's degree.  A high IQ.  Some talent towards writing and acting.  Good friends.  Good food.  Fun.
 I live a lie.  You who read this may have your act together.  If you do, that makes me happy.  I am not happy.  I haven't been for about five years. 
 Feeling sorry for yourself is one of my traits.  I find consolation in myself.  If my schizophrenia was such that I couldn't feel that way anymore, then I would go crazy.
 Today could have been a very happy day.

What or How?, 1969

What can it be,
How is it true,
That a tree,
Can't turn blue.


How does a plane fly,
What is a car belt,
How can a shoe string tie,
How have hands felt.


What does it mean,
To be a man,
That doesn't turn green,
Or into sand.


What or How is it,
Without why,
How does a horse's bit,
Differ from a dye?

What is Tradition?, 1971

Tradition is what we live by--
It's where we work and play,
Traditional schools,
Traditional churches,
Traditional life.


You must abide by tradition.


What is tradition?
It is the failure to be an individual.


Tradition by any other name is tradition,
So what is my mission?
It is to inform people about tradition,
This is my ambition.


Tradition is school,
That's not too cool,
Tradition is also church,
For this a lot of people search.


Tradition is with us all the day,
It is with us at work and play,
All the generations before me--
Like Tradition--don't you see?


Tradition is the failure to be an individual,
Why can't we be cool?

When I Love, 1990

When I think about the good times
That we shared together
I smile because I know
You love me.


When I see you sleeping
And you look so much at peace
I smile because I know
You love me.


When I dream (I dream of you)
When I smile (I think of you)
When I laugh (I laugh with you)
When I love (I love you)


When I share those magic moments
And that's what we call life
I smile because I know
You love me.

Was I In Your Dreams, 1990

Was I in your dreams last night?
Did I make you laugh or cry?
Were you happy to see me?
Was I in your dreams last night?


Was I in your dreams last night?

Untitled, 2010

What is the reason
What is the cost
What is the hopeless
What is the feeling
What is the purpose
What is the sin
What is the reason
God put me in

What is Life

What is life?
Mountains filled with paper mache?
Potions sprinkled on miracle men?
Careful anger sprouted by birth?
Zap!


What is death?
Timely wishes of expanding balloons?
White clouds spinning through tornadoes?
Careful anger sprouted by birth?
Zowie!


So when you put them
all together, they
 form--Zap Zowie,
   and that is destruction.

We are One

We are one,
 but we are two.


We sit and talk,
 but we run and are mute.


We laugh and play,
 but we are crippled.


We see our love,
 but yet we're blind.


So what I mean
 to say is this:


See that two heads
 are better than one.

What, 1971

Superman or Clark Kent,
Wonderman or meek and mild little child,
If you could be one or both,
Then it would be okay,
But everyone is far out and schizoid,
So who am I?
Maybe Clark Kent--or maybe not,
Who knows?

Well

Well, the time is right
 for all good men to
  try to fight a war
   that's injust.


Oh, we said that 10 years ago.


Well, the time is right
 for all good men to
  clean up the
   atmosphere for ecology.


Oh, we said that 5 years ago.


Well, the time is right
 for all good men to find
  a girl that they
   can marry.


Oh, we said that 1 year ago.


Well, that the
 way it goes.

A Wedding, 1975

Time after time
 Forever and ever,
  Hallelujah and Amen.


So go phrases which
 we all know and love,
  but for which we have
   no explanation.


If only the sun could
 creep upon us than
  having to resort to
   violence in the first degree.


Come back small world,
Come back to the level
that we once shared.
Come back and be glad,
for tomorrow you may die.

Weather, 1973

It don't rain in West Virginia,
Because they don't care,
And it don't snow in South Africa,
Because there ain't nobody there.


And it don't hail in Cincinnati,
Because nobody knows,
But it floods in Milwaukee,
Why?  Because the peaceful water flows.


Flows--Flows--Flows
Yes that water flows


Boop--Boop--Bee--doop.

Watergate, 1973

 Once upon a time, there was a king, and he ruled his country with an iron fist.  One day, a prince from a far corner of the kingdom came to the king and said that his kingdom was in danger of collapse.  The king laughed and said that it was ridiculous.  A few days later, some of the king's men were arrested for trying to disrupt the government.  The king did not know anything about it.  The moral to this story is that people become so isolated within themselves that they don't realize what goes on outside, so there's trouble.
                                                        The End I Hope

Waiting, 2002

It's 11 on Sunday
And 11 on Monday
And someday
You'll be calling me.


I'm waiting
I'm hoping
That one day
You'll be calling me.


Come see me,
Come hold me,
Come say to me,
You love me.


One day I'll be laughing,
One day I'll be crying,
One day I'll be saying,
That you are loving me.


I see you each morning,
I see you each evening,
I don't understand why
You're not calling me.


The phone is ringing
I am hoping it's you,
I pick up the phone...

Walter's Forty, 1993 (with apologies to Dolly Parton)

Here you come again to another year,
It's time you shifted into third gear,
The Heartbreak Express has come to a stop,
And the Tiger Rag has become a mop.


Old Flames can't hold a candle to you,
But then for you that's nothing new,
You work hard from Nine to Five,
Oh, the doctor said you're still alive.


It's all wrong but it's all right,
You're forty today and even tonight,
So what if your hair turns blue,
You know I'll always love you.

Waiting, 1991

I'm waiting
I'm waiting for an answer,
I'm waiting for a call,
I'm waiting for a cold one,
And I'm waiting till I fall.


I'm waiting for your voice,
I'm waiting for your smile,
I'm waiting to hear you,
And I've been waiting for a while.


I'm waiting for you,
I've been waiting for some time,
I'll wait a little longer,
Waiting can be a crime.


I'm waiting,
Waiting by my phone,
Waiting all alone,
Waiting for that tone,
Waiting.

Volunteers, 1971

 The fire had been blazing for three days.  It was still uncontrollable.  All the available fire trucks were exhausted.  Everyone in the town of Bleakville was too tired to fight anymore.
 The fire was in a warehouse of gasoline and oil products.  The company that owned the building was the Gaso Company.  All of the upper two floors of the building were burned, and the rest of the building was threatened.  The oil was burning at the present time, with the gasoline being threatened.
 Governor John Bartlow received a note from the Mayor of Bleakville urging him to send federal troops.  The note said, "Our town is on the brink of disaster.  It is doubtful that we will be able to keep the fire isolated.  We need your help."  The governor sent his aides to the National Guard Armory to look for volunteers.  Most of the Guard were at the local college trying to restore order.  The Guard commander told the aides that he could spare ten of his men.  So, the ten men were sent to Bleakville.
 By this time, the fire had gotten worse.  The first explosion of gasoline occurred at 3:54 P.M.  The Guard arrived at 4:03 P.M.  They tried water, carbon dioxide, and sand.  Nothing could stop it.  Another building started to burn.  This building was the warehouse for a gunpowder company.  A preacher told everybody to pray for floods, because that was what it would take to put out the fire.  All of the senior citizens were down on their knees.  They yelled, "Oh, sweet Jesus, please help us!"  They chanted this many times, always looking upward.  Suddenly, the crowd heard a thunderous roar.  The dam, holding back the mightiest river in the entire state, broke.  Water flowed down into the town.  People had to get on the tops of their houses, but the fire was out.  The Red Cross was called in to help the town.  Now, the town has their own lake.  Bleakville was proclaimed "The Water Capital of the World".  All their worries were over.

War, 1973

See the sun
 shine and
  think of
   kids having fun.


Is their fun REALLY fun?


Who knows.
Why don't you play with them?
At least you won't
be fighting with men.

Wade, 1975

There was no verse
 with the end of the Vietnamese.


There was no verse
 with the vision of a play.


But now the verse rises
 with the death of a friend.


And the world revolved
 around just a few in those
  days of high school and
   folks were getting higher.


One folk didn't make it,
 at least not until a few days
  ago, when he made his final
   high, and I didn't make the funeral.


Was his death for right,
 when he believed in Commies,
  and drugs, and wild things,
   and didn't know anything else?


There was no verse
 with the end of school.

Video Dream Girl

She's wild
She's sexy
She's beautiful,
She's my video dream girl.


I look at TV
Until my eyes rot,
I watch everything
'Cause I', looking for
My video dream girl.


I watch Metal and Rap,
Country and Oldies,
And all those ads for
Mail-order music
No one's heard of before
'Cause I'm waiting for my
Video dream girl.


Then, for three minutes I'm with her,
She smiles through the screen,
And I know we're meant to be together,
'Cause we have so much in common--
She's my video dream girl.


She leaves for a while,
But I know she won't go far,
All I've got to do is turn her on
She's my video dream girl.

A Visit to the Unemployment Office, 1980

 Unemployment is such a frightening word.  You think that it will never happen to you.  You see the percentages quoted on television, but 7% or 8% means nothing to you.  It doesn't matter, when gas prices are high and the economy is low.  But, what happens when your job runs out, and you are faced with this horror of no work?
 You go to the unemployment compensation office.  And what do you find there?  Three groups of people--those who don't care about anything; those who are very angry over the system; and those who want to just get it done and leave.  I was in the third group.  The employees of the office were in the first group.  The older, more experienced unemployed belonged to the second group.

Untitled, 1975

(written after approx. 7,845 days of living)


Almost eight thousand days
Since birth into this world
In Southern Baptist Hospital--
And the doctor is dead.


The Korean War was over,
Eisenhower was president,
"American Graffiti" was happening,
And thousands died in Vietnam.


We moved to Columbia,
I went to public schools,
Camelot was in Washington,
And a bullet killed Arthur.


It was on to high school,
The debates were wonderful,
The awards were beautiful,
And Arthur's brother was struck down.


College came in all its glory,
The plays were a success,
The awards again were beautiful,
And political sabotage was rampant.


Almost eight thousand days
Since birth into this world,
Very much has happened,
And maybe too much.

Untitled

The eternal struggle of
mankind as seen through
the eyes of one of its members
is totally false to anything ever seen.


The above comment was made by interplanetary communication of minds.

Untitled, 1973

Flying high
In the sky
Like a bird
That we heard
Singing.


See the plane
With the rain
Falling from the clouds
Thunder's very loud,
Lightning that is flashing by.

The Uncle Don Show (a kiddie show), 1971

Announcer.   ...And now, straight from the backroom of the SDS Walla Walla headquarters, here is
                     the Uncle Don Show.  Along with Uncle Don, there are your favorite cartoon friends
                     such as the comedy team of Trickie Dickie and Spiro the Greek.  Also we have our
                     special guest--Percy Pinko, talking on how to make Molotov cocktails.  Now, here's
                     Uncle Don.


Children.      Yea Uncle Don!, Uncle Don is my hero, 3 cheers for Uncle Don, hip hip hooray, hip
                     hip hooray, hip hip hooray.


Uncle Don.  Well thanks kiddies.  We've got a great show for you today.  Not only do we have
                     Dickie and Spiro, but we've also got the antics of our great, stupendous, laughable
                     group of nuts, the Senate and the House of Representatives.


Children.      Yea, Uncle Don!


Uncle Don.   Now, without further addue, here is our first cartoon, Porky Pig and Fuzzy.


Announcer.   Due to technical difficulties, beyond our control, the visual portion of this cartoon will
                      not be shown.  You will be able to obtain a visual version of the program for $19.95.
                     The cartoon is $5.00 extra.


Voice.           Take that you pig!


Porky Pig.     The name's p-p-p-p-Porky.


Fuzzy.           Yes, and I'm Fuzzy, your friendly fuzz.


Voice.            Well, this is your last straw!


Porky.            Oh g-g-g-g-good, I thought you were out of straws, I was hoping that I wouldn't
                      have to drink my soda without a straw.


Fuzzy.           All right, up against the wall, boy!


Uncle Don.   Well kiddies, how did you like that cartoon?


Child.            I don't understand it, Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.   Ask your mother.  Now kiddies, here's our birthday list.  Let's see where did I put
                      that list?  Ah, here it is.


Child.           Where was it Uncle Don?


Uncle Don.   Oh, it was in this book on the "Private Life of J. Edgar".


Child.           J. Edgar who?


Uncle Don.  Ask your mother.  Now for the list.  Bobby Seale is how many years old?


Child.          18, no let's see, 5 and 18 is 23.  Hey Uncle Don, you've got 23 fingers.


Uncle Don.  Well, that's close enough.  Well, that's it for today.  If you've got a birthday, then send
                     it to Uncle Don, 1545 SDS Rd., Walla Walla, Wash.  Send it with a $10 deposit to
                     insure safety.  If you want to be on the list and be first, add $5 more and an essay in
                     1000 words or less on why Uncle Don is the "father of our country".


Child.           We all think of you as the father of our country, Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.   And don't you forget it.


Children.      Where's our sandwiches?  Where's our drinks?  Where's our autographed pictures of
                      you, Uncle Don?


Uncle Don.   You'll get those in a minute after a word from our sponsor.  If you get iron-poor tired
                      blood, after a hard day playing army, then take Geritol.  It will make you feel stronger
                      fast, and it will give you twice the iron in a pound of calf's liver.


Child.            What's a calf's liver?


Uncle Don.   A calf's liver in simple terms is a cow's heart beating.


Children.      Wow!  That's neat.


Uncle Don.   This Geritol will make you kill more Commie Pinkos than the next boy or girl.  And
                      if you buy a bottle right now, you get a certificate for one, actual machine gun--
                      complete with bullets and shoulder strap.  Impress your friends--if you have any left
                      after you're through with it.  And for the low, low price of $5, you'll get a refill of 10
                      bullets to use on your family.


Child.            That's for me, Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.   And now kiddies, I'm going to give you your sandwiches, drinks, and autographed
                      pictures.  If you kiddies out there in television land want to be on the show and get
                      some of these wonderful goodies--just send $50 to the Uncle Don Show to defray
                      cost.


Child.           That's unreasonable, Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.   If you think that's unreasonable, wait until your mother gets plugged for $200 for
                      loitering in the studio.  Now, here is our guest for today--Percy Pinko.  Hi, Percy.


Pinko.           Hi there Uncle Don.  Gosh, it's so nice to be here today.


Uncle Don.   Well, that's nice.  Okay, now kiddies, Percy Pinko is going to tell you how to make
                      Molotov cocktails.  Percy--


Pinko.           Thank yoooou.  Now kiddies, you know what this is?


Child.           Yes, that's a liquor bottle that my father has.


Pinko.           Is he a revolutionary?


Child.           No, he's a drunk.


Percy.           Oh, and do you know what this is?


Child.           Yes, that's an oily rag.  Sparky says that you shouldn't have oily rags in the house.


Percy.           That's right--don't start playing with matches.  Now, you put the oily rag inside the
                      liquor bottle, after you fill the bottle with gasoline.  Then you take this match...


Child.            (gasp) Mommy says don't play with matches.


Percy.            This isn't playing--this is work!  Okay, you light the rag and...


                                                 BOOM!!


                      (the studio is shaken.  Percy Pinko is no more.  Uncle Don comes out without a
                      scratch.  The children cry.  Everything is just as normal as ever.)


Uncle Don.   That was great, Percy.  Kiddies, Percy Pinko will be back next week with another
                      exciting project for you to do at home.  Now, it's time to talk to the little darlings.
                      And what's your name little girl?


Girl.              My name is Julie.


Uncle Don.   Julie what?


Girl.              Julie Nixon.


Uncle Don.   How old are you, Julie?


Julie.             I'm 26.


Uncle Don.   What do you want to be when you grow up?


Julie.              I want to be president.


Uncle Don.   Are you going to be the first woman president?


Julie.             No, I'm going to be a man about it.


Uncle Don.   Do you have a secret for me?


Julie.             Yes, my father thinks you are corrupt.


Uncle Don.   That's not saying much for him.  And what's your name my little man?


Boy.              My name's David S. Eisenpheppher.


Uncle Don.   Can you spell that?


David.           E-I-S-E-N-H-O-W-E-R!


Uncle Don.   How old are you?


David.           Seven


Uncle Don.   But that's only six fingers.


David.           (crying) I only have six fingers.


Uncle Don.   What's your secret?


David.           I can't show you that I'm seven.


Uncle Don.   What's your name little boy?


Boy.              My name is Eldridge.


Uncle Don.   Eldridge who?


Eldridge.       Butcher Cleaver III


Uncle Don.   Do you want to say anything to your friends?


Eldridge.       Yes, I want to say to my loyal friend, J. Edgar, Power to the People!


Uncle Don.   Well, that's it with our little children.  If you want to be on the Uncle Don Show, ask
                      your father if he makes more than $20,000 per year.  If he does, tell him to send me
                      half of his income, and you will get a ringside seat at the Uncle Don Show.  I see by
                      the old clock up against the wall that the Uncle Don Show is just about to be
                      cancelled.


Child.           Why?  Uncle Don, why?


Uncle Don.   I'm not leaving the network.  I've got a new show coming up next week.  It's called
                     "Today in Uncle Don Land".  I'll have a co-star along with me, Lynn Novice.  And
                     so till next time, this is Uncle Don saying so long.  (whispering) Say goodbye, brats.


Children.      Goodbye brats!  Goodbye brats!  Goodbye.....


Announcer.  Remember the new show with Uncle Don, "Today in Uncle Don Land".  If you've got
                     a talent like opera or revolutionary tactics, sign up with Uncle Don.  Be sure your
                     bank account is in the $100,000 bracket.  So long for Uncle Don, Trickie Dickie,
                     Spiro the Greek, Porky Pig, Fuzzy, and Percy Pinko, for now.


Children.      Goodbye brats!   Goodbye brats!   Goodbye.....