Today could have been a very happy day. Depression is such that I cannot pull up from it. In reflecting on past thoughts of suicide, the question really remains--Why? Why not? A master's degree. A high IQ. Some talent towards writing and acting. Good friends. Good food. Fun.
I live a lie. You who read this may have your act together. If you do, that makes me happy. I am not happy. I haven't been for about five years.
Feeling sorry for yourself is one of my traits. I find consolation in myself. If my schizophrenia was such that I couldn't feel that way anymore, then I would go crazy.
Today could have been a very happy day.
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