Untitled, 2004

 What does it matter?  I hear that said, but do I believe it?  Probably not.  I guess I care too much.  My conscience hurts.  Where are my friends?  A lot of advice, but no help.  Can I afford food, shelter, gas?  Yes, no, maybe.
 When I was younger, so much younger than today...  That summed it up best.
 Mother's gone.  Daddy's gone.  John has his world.  I have mine.
 How will it end?  Like BJ?  Maybe.  Like Wade?  Maybe.  Dying is not honorable, unless it is your time.  When is my time?  Is it less honorable to choose your time?  Probably.  Judy said it best.  She wanted to help people like me.  The crazies.  I don't know if she did or not.  She did marry Steve.  He wasn't crazy.  He was a musician.  51, huh?  I'm trying to fight.  But it may be time to go.  Hello, I must be going...  Where is the laughter?
 Where is the kid in me?  Did I ever grow up?  Am I growing up now?  Am I Job?  God, help me.  I pray for strength.  I pray for courage.  I pray for life.  I pray for help.  You are everything.  I am nothing.  I know I am special.  You have said so.  You have given me great talents.  I have used them for your glory.
 The glory and majesty of Your name.  Hallelujah  Hallelujah.  Spelling doesn't count.  Words mean nothing.
 What is an act?  What is real?
 Who am I?  Am I real?
 Roller coaster.
            Help.
 Depression, Sadness, Worry,
 No one loves me, or do they?
 Why am I alone?
             or am I?
 Shy and alone, or at least shy.
 I can't read what he wrote.  I can't read his writing.  I wish I knew he had problems.