Untitled, 1973

Flying high
In the sky
Like a bird
That we heard
Singing.


See the plane
With the rain
Falling from the clouds
Thunder's very loud,
Lightning that is flashing by.

The Uncle Don Show (a kiddie show), 1971

Announcer.   ...And now, straight from the backroom of the SDS Walla Walla headquarters, here is
                     the Uncle Don Show.  Along with Uncle Don, there are your favorite cartoon friends
                     such as the comedy team of Trickie Dickie and Spiro the Greek.  Also we have our
                     special guest--Percy Pinko, talking on how to make Molotov cocktails.  Now, here's
                     Uncle Don.


Children.      Yea Uncle Don!, Uncle Don is my hero, 3 cheers for Uncle Don, hip hip hooray, hip
                     hip hooray, hip hip hooray.


Uncle Don.  Well thanks kiddies.  We've got a great show for you today.  Not only do we have
                     Dickie and Spiro, but we've also got the antics of our great, stupendous, laughable
                     group of nuts, the Senate and the House of Representatives.


Children.      Yea, Uncle Don!


Uncle Don.   Now, without further addue, here is our first cartoon, Porky Pig and Fuzzy.


Announcer.   Due to technical difficulties, beyond our control, the visual portion of this cartoon will
                      not be shown.  You will be able to obtain a visual version of the program for $19.95.
                     The cartoon is $5.00 extra.


Voice.           Take that you pig!


Porky Pig.     The name's p-p-p-p-Porky.


Fuzzy.           Yes, and I'm Fuzzy, your friendly fuzz.


Voice.            Well, this is your last straw!


Porky.            Oh g-g-g-g-good, I thought you were out of straws, I was hoping that I wouldn't
                      have to drink my soda without a straw.


Fuzzy.           All right, up against the wall, boy!


Uncle Don.   Well kiddies, how did you like that cartoon?


Child.            I don't understand it, Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.   Ask your mother.  Now kiddies, here's our birthday list.  Let's see where did I put
                      that list?  Ah, here it is.


Child.           Where was it Uncle Don?


Uncle Don.   Oh, it was in this book on the "Private Life of J. Edgar".


Child.           J. Edgar who?


Uncle Don.  Ask your mother.  Now for the list.  Bobby Seale is how many years old?


Child.          18, no let's see, 5 and 18 is 23.  Hey Uncle Don, you've got 23 fingers.


Uncle Don.  Well, that's close enough.  Well, that's it for today.  If you've got a birthday, then send
                     it to Uncle Don, 1545 SDS Rd., Walla Walla, Wash.  Send it with a $10 deposit to
                     insure safety.  If you want to be on the list and be first, add $5 more and an essay in
                     1000 words or less on why Uncle Don is the "father of our country".


Child.           We all think of you as the father of our country, Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.   And don't you forget it.


Children.      Where's our sandwiches?  Where's our drinks?  Where's our autographed pictures of
                      you, Uncle Don?


Uncle Don.   You'll get those in a minute after a word from our sponsor.  If you get iron-poor tired
                      blood, after a hard day playing army, then take Geritol.  It will make you feel stronger
                      fast, and it will give you twice the iron in a pound of calf's liver.


Child.            What's a calf's liver?


Uncle Don.   A calf's liver in simple terms is a cow's heart beating.


Children.      Wow!  That's neat.


Uncle Don.   This Geritol will make you kill more Commie Pinkos than the next boy or girl.  And
                      if you buy a bottle right now, you get a certificate for one, actual machine gun--
                      complete with bullets and shoulder strap.  Impress your friends--if you have any left
                      after you're through with it.  And for the low, low price of $5, you'll get a refill of 10
                      bullets to use on your family.


Child.            That's for me, Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.   And now kiddies, I'm going to give you your sandwiches, drinks, and autographed
                      pictures.  If you kiddies out there in television land want to be on the show and get
                      some of these wonderful goodies--just send $50 to the Uncle Don Show to defray
                      cost.


Child.           That's unreasonable, Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.   If you think that's unreasonable, wait until your mother gets plugged for $200 for
                      loitering in the studio.  Now, here is our guest for today--Percy Pinko.  Hi, Percy.


Pinko.           Hi there Uncle Don.  Gosh, it's so nice to be here today.


Uncle Don.   Well, that's nice.  Okay, now kiddies, Percy Pinko is going to tell you how to make
                      Molotov cocktails.  Percy--


Pinko.           Thank yoooou.  Now kiddies, you know what this is?


Child.           Yes, that's a liquor bottle that my father has.


Pinko.           Is he a revolutionary?


Child.           No, he's a drunk.


Percy.           Oh, and do you know what this is?


Child.           Yes, that's an oily rag.  Sparky says that you shouldn't have oily rags in the house.


Percy.           That's right--don't start playing with matches.  Now, you put the oily rag inside the
                      liquor bottle, after you fill the bottle with gasoline.  Then you take this match...


Child.            (gasp) Mommy says don't play with matches.


Percy.            This isn't playing--this is work!  Okay, you light the rag and...


                                                 BOOM!!


                      (the studio is shaken.  Percy Pinko is no more.  Uncle Don comes out without a
                      scratch.  The children cry.  Everything is just as normal as ever.)


Uncle Don.   That was great, Percy.  Kiddies, Percy Pinko will be back next week with another
                      exciting project for you to do at home.  Now, it's time to talk to the little darlings.
                      And what's your name little girl?


Girl.              My name is Julie.


Uncle Don.   Julie what?


Girl.              Julie Nixon.


Uncle Don.   How old are you, Julie?


Julie.             I'm 26.


Uncle Don.   What do you want to be when you grow up?


Julie.              I want to be president.


Uncle Don.   Are you going to be the first woman president?


Julie.             No, I'm going to be a man about it.


Uncle Don.   Do you have a secret for me?


Julie.             Yes, my father thinks you are corrupt.


Uncle Don.   That's not saying much for him.  And what's your name my little man?


Boy.              My name's David S. Eisenpheppher.


Uncle Don.   Can you spell that?


David.           E-I-S-E-N-H-O-W-E-R!


Uncle Don.   How old are you?


David.           Seven


Uncle Don.   But that's only six fingers.


David.           (crying) I only have six fingers.


Uncle Don.   What's your secret?


David.           I can't show you that I'm seven.


Uncle Don.   What's your name little boy?


Boy.              My name is Eldridge.


Uncle Don.   Eldridge who?


Eldridge.       Butcher Cleaver III


Uncle Don.   Do you want to say anything to your friends?


Eldridge.       Yes, I want to say to my loyal friend, J. Edgar, Power to the People!


Uncle Don.   Well, that's it with our little children.  If you want to be on the Uncle Don Show, ask
                      your father if he makes more than $20,000 per year.  If he does, tell him to send me
                      half of his income, and you will get a ringside seat at the Uncle Don Show.  I see by
                      the old clock up against the wall that the Uncle Don Show is just about to be
                      cancelled.


Child.           Why?  Uncle Don, why?


Uncle Don.   I'm not leaving the network.  I've got a new show coming up next week.  It's called
                     "Today in Uncle Don Land".  I'll have a co-star along with me, Lynn Novice.  And
                     so till next time, this is Uncle Don saying so long.  (whispering) Say goodbye, brats.


Children.      Goodbye brats!  Goodbye brats!  Goodbye.....


Announcer.  Remember the new show with Uncle Don, "Today in Uncle Don Land".  If you've got
                     a talent like opera or revolutionary tactics, sign up with Uncle Don.  Be sure your
                     bank account is in the $100,000 bracket.  So long for Uncle Don, Trickie Dickie,
                     Spiro the Greek, Porky Pig, Fuzzy, and Percy Pinko, for now.


Children.      Goodbye brats!   Goodbye brats!   Goodbye.....

Unititled, 1976

 During the presidential campaign, Mr. Carter said that he would do his best to lower the unemployment rate to the desired 3% suggested by the Humphrey-Hawkins Bill.  Now, he says that it will not go lower than 7% during his four years in office.  Has Jimmy lied again, or has he broken his first campaign promise?  And he's not even in office yet.  I can't wait until January 20, 1977, when he becomes President.  Maybe he'll turn Republican and stop eating peanuts, too.

Untitled, 1973

When does life stop without dying?
When does life stop living?
It's when two people stop loving
 and start remembering.


 The above verse was written while on the Rhine River in Germany on July 18, 1973.  It involves me in a rather depressed state of mind.  I know why I'm depressed, and I know how to get rid of it, but I'm still in that state of mind.  Depression is a terrible thing.  Sometimes, it causes suicide.  To me, it's a feeling of:  I don't know what to say, see, feel, live for, die for, and love.  I'm torn between principles and freedom.  If I have principles, then I'm respected.  If I have freedom, then I can do what I want.  I can't do both.  Where does it end?

Untitled

Well the time is right
 for all good men to
  say hello, to popin'
   fresh dough.


Tee-hee-hee!
 Ain't she sweet,
  just a walkin' down
the street.  Now I
ask you very confidentially
ain't she sweet?


Baa-baa-baa-boom!
Zing-zally-wooooooo.
 

Unititled

This message is
 brought to you
  by the word
   PEACE!


BOOM

Untitled, 1970

What is the some day,
Why are we here today,
What is the someday,
And we're here,
So I'll have to stay.


There's nothing to do,
We're here but we're not,
We see what we feel,
We got someday.

Untitled, 1973

Oh, I wish it could be different,
But these times are not to be turned back.
I only should ask if you'd let me
Rip-off a piece of your love from him.
Rip-off a piece of love from Jim.

Untitled, 1974

I don't know what it is ring, I
don't know who it is ring, I
don't care either--ding-a-ling.


Vip!


I don't know who I am!


I'm an actor
I'm a musician
I'm a liberal
I'm a conservative
I'm so much, that I don't know
who I am, what I like, or anything.
Strange?  No, it's just me.

Untitled

If you believe in hunger,
And if you believe in despair,
And if you believe in pestilence,
Then there's nothing for you here.


If you believe in Vietnam,
And if you believe in heads,
And if you believe in poverty,
Then you believe in death.

Untitled, 1973

Peace comes only
 once a year
when the Easter
 Bunny comes.


He hops and hops
 through the grass
and gives balloons
 to all the kiddies.


WOW!

Untitled, 1973

Some people are
 heartless, no
  sympathy
   whatsoever.


I wish that people
 would be consoling
  instead of worrying
   about what dress to wear.


Why must it be this way?

Untitled, 1973

What to do?
What to say?
What to see
 that's okay?


What to live?
What to love?
What to be
 that's okay?


What I am
 is myself
  and nobody
   else can change that.


P. S.  However
 they DO change it!

Untitled

If I find the
moment running--
the sunshine
makes the Quakers
run rampant thru
the snow of people
saying, why don't you
just quit, and you
say no, so don't and
make an ass out of
yourself for 2 more
years, and thanks be
to God for your
mother not having twins,
for not at least being
identical, you ugly
goomer.

Untitled, 1974

Beauty reacts
 only in Southern
  openings and Northern
   superstars.


What is real is
 only fake when
  the sun returns
   after the night.


What does it mean?


You shouldn't worry
 about what it means,
  but it has something
   to do with finding a
    bit of employment.

Unititled, 1973

 Sometimes a poet writes something that he feels was written before by someone, but it was never noticed until now.  The following piece of verse is that such feeling--that it was written by someone, who is dead and has long since been forgotten.


I see
I feel
I display emotion,
But I hurt
I cry
I have pain,
Because I died like
 thousands before me.


Upon the writing of the above verse, I feel a sense of sadness, because whoever wrote this before me was a sick person.  Sick of life and sick of self.  It's a weird feeling to be speaking for someone else, who will never know he is now heard by the world.  I feel that the above poem was written by a hungry Englishman during the early 1800's before he starved to death.  May God rest his soul.  Peace.

Untitled, 1973

Hey, um, for the first time in my life, I got a card from you, and it was something that I'll always treasure, but you don't know why, do you?  It's because I hate your guts.

Unititled, 1973

Don't do anything today.
Wait until tomorrow
Why am I writing this,
When it's all meaningless.
Ta-da.

Untitled, 1973

Come down small world,
Come down to my way of thinking,
All happiness has been altered,
All survival has been prevented.


To translate this poem,
We need to look at hearts,
And see the pain and agony
Who remembers the sad times.


People who see the sunset,
Are better off than people who see the rain.
Peace.

Unititled

Hey!
You got the eyes,
You got the lips,
You got the hair that I'm thinking of.


I know,
I know,
it's you.


You say to me,
I really see,
I know,
I know it's you.


You know,
I know,
even if I see,
I know I know you say to me
I know,
I know,
I dream for what I see
so it's you
oo yes,
I know.


It's you to see!

Untitled, 1974

This time we almost made
it didn't we babe, but that
song is just a rotten stones throw
away from disaster, since the sun
doesn't set in Arizona.

Untitled

I'm thinking of,
thinking of,
thinking of life with no strings attached,
but there isn't any such thing so I forget myself
and run.


What's the problem?


I don't know,
but we will see the facts
when we get here.


Where is here?


HERE is life,
and THERE is death,
so I'll stay here
and forget there.

Spiritual Enrichment

 In a program for spiritual enrichment, prayer is an important part, of course, but there are other factors that are a part of my program.
 I suppose it is a holdover from the time when I was a part of the Hare Krishna movement, but my program is based on three ingredients other than prayer.  These three areas include:  meditation, music, and movies.
 The Meditation area can be achieved in three ways, either by church participation, walking in nature, or lying quietly.  The first two ways are self-explanatory, but the third does need a bit of description.  Lying quietly deals with a trance-like state, which is brought on by concentrating on an object, a thought, or some means of relaxation.  The mind is cleared of obstructions, and it gives way to the spirit.
 I try to surround myself with music all day long.  In a time of spiritual uplift, classical music is ideal.  At certain times, easy listening music is good, either instrumentals or vocals.  Rock music can be used, too, provided the lyrics are suitable.  Music should be able to give to the spirit a feeling that cannot be bettered by any other artificial means.
 Movies play a part in my enrichment program, too.  There are some pictures that are thought of as message films.  These films that may have a particular comment of social issues provide a feeling of growth.  On the other side, some movies provide a sense of escapism, which gives me a way of clearing my mind of problems.
 Using these three parts plus prayer, gives me a program of spiritual enrichment.  Borrowing a term from the drug users, I strive for mind expansion using meditation, music, and movies.

Untitled, 1971

There is only five minutes to go,
Sometimes I'm high and sometimes I'm low,
It seems so bad that I don't know,
So why don't you just blow,
Who, oo, who
Yeah--why don't you just blow?

Untitled

I've waited here so long
 that my neck has
  frozen into a position.


 The above descriptive verse is an original work from one of my favorite poets, ME.  Isn't that a modest statement?  Now that I've got your attention, and you're probably hanging on every word I say, let me make this observation that I am going out of my mind.  You are probably dismayed at that statement.  My purpose in life is twofold.  First, to give people the freedom and justice that is their right, and second, to make one person happy.  If I can make one person happy, then we would be one step closer to peace.  You are asking yourself, "Well, why is he going out of his mind"?  That is easy to answer, because I make people happy, while I'm very sad inside.  BOOM!

Untitled, 1973

 This is the story of a photogenic, large, Italian coke.  One day, a little boy by the name of Joey found a bottle.  It was floating on the water.  He picked it up, and the words inscribed on it were, "A large Italian coke".  He didn't know what it meant, but he wanted it, so he took it.  Years later, while Joey was in college, a professor asked him if was interested in Photography.  Joey was definitely interested, so he started taking pictures.  His main subject was the bottle.  Joey landed a $8 million job for his pictures.  So, the next time you're in Italy, get a large Italian coke.  Thanks.

Untitled, 1973

Well, here is death shining our pretty faces
on the purple piece of cotton,
However, death doesn't occur until
purple fades to blue.

Uncle Don and the Election Returns, 1971

Announcer.   ...And now, direct from our newsroom in Joe's Pizza Parlor, it's "Uncle Don and the
                     Election Returns".  Uncle Don will report the election returns for Bent Creek, Kansas.
                     Now, here's Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.  Well folks, this is a great night.  We will know who our mayor and city council will be,
                     when this program is over.  Let's look at the big board for the first returns.  Here's our
                     reporter for mayor--Perry Parsley.


Parsley.        Thanks Uncle Don.  The first votes for mayor gives us--Shyster-53 votes; Conartist-26
                     votes; Goodman-3 votes.  This is it right now, Uncle Don.


                     (a flash of lighting hits the studio, the electricity is cut off, except for the television
                     cameras and the microphones.)


Uncle Don.  What happened?  Are we off the air?


Director.      The cameras and sound are on.  We've got to keep reporting.


Uncle Don.  But there are not any votes coming in.


Director.      So what?


Uncle Don.  Well folks, it's a tight race.  Shyster-53 votes; Conartist-26 votes; Goodman-3 votes.
                    Perry, do you have any reflections on the mayor's race?


Parsley.       No


Uncle Don.  Okay, oh we're in luck.  Someone has dropped into our studio.  It's Captain Soul.  Why
                    did you come to our studio tonight.


Captain S.   I wanted to get a pizza.


Uncle Don.  Well, that's fine.  Tell us about your crimefighting.


Captain S.    I can't.


Uncle Don.  Why not?


Captain S.    Because it's a secret organization.


Uncle Don.  What is?


Captain S.    S.O.U.L., what else?  Oh no, I let it out.  Oh well.


Uncle Don.  Tell us about Samson the Chicken.


Captain S.    Well, he's an overstuffed man in a chicken world.


Uncle Don.  Let's look at that race for mayor, Perry.


Parsley.       This is a close one.  Shyster-53 votes; Conartist-26 votes; Goodman-3 votes.  Now,
                    back to Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.  Wow, that race is far out.  Now, back to Captain Soul.  Captain Soul, what is the spy
                    business really like?


Captain S.  It's like a rat race.  We kill those lousy rats that call themselves W.R.O.N.G. agents.


Uncle Don.  Well that's fine.  Now for a commercial.  When is that stupid electricity coming back on?


Director.    Just be cool, Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.  How can I be cool under these hot lights?  Well, we're back again.  Captain Soul is
                    gone.  He's gone to kill those lousy rats.  Now, let's look at the race for council.  Here's
                    Arnold Apple, our man in the council.


Apple.         Thanks Uncle Don.  This is the council race--Timer-no votes; Wood-no votes; Pine-no
                    votes; Oak-no votes.


Uncle Don.  That sure is close, Arnold.  Now, here's our political analyst, Dr. Charles Chain--the
                    "link to politics".  How do you see this race?


Dr. Chain.   It is basic to see that if this race is to be won by either side that...and make no mistake
                    about it...the electricity should come back on.


Uncle Don.  Thank you, Dr. Chain.  Here's another commercial.  I can't go on like this.  It's just
                     too much for me.


Director.      Don't give up yet.  We still have to produce a winner.


Uncle Don.  Well I...Oh, Ha Ha Ha!  You caught me.  Let's look at that tight mayor's race.  Perry,


Parsley.       Shyster now has 53 votes; Conartist has 26 votes; and Goodman has 3 votes.  We're
                    really moving.


Uncle Don.  We sure are.  We're going to move out of this studio next week, Ha Ha!  Now, we have
                     a special treat for you folks.  You know the man who announces this show, well here
                     he is.  Fred Announcer.


Announcer.  Hello Uncle Don.


Uncle Don.  Well, how did you get into this business?


Announcer.  I was a brass knuckles man.


Uncle Don.  No, not that business--the T.V. business.


Announcer.  Oh, that business.  Well, I used to announce the gang wars, and I was discovered.


Uncle Don.  That's great.  Thanks for stopping by.  It's 2:35 a.m., and we're still here.  Wait,
                     someone has just run into the studio.  It's an informer from the polls.  He says--let's
                     get it from his own mouth.


Runner.        It's...it's Shyster-53; Conartist-26; and Goodman-3.


Uncle Don.  Thanks for coming by.  While we're waiting for further reports, I thought I would read
                     you a short book on history "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich".  (after 15 hours
                     was past he finishes)  Well, that was a good book.  (suddenly, a flash of lightning
                     and a bolt of thunder and a high-o Silver)  It's the masked man.  What do you want?


Man.             Goodman won!  (the masked man leaves in a puff of smoke)


Uncle Don.   Who was that?


Director.       That was the Lame Stranger.


Uncle Don.   Well, that's it.  Goodman is our new mayor.  So, for all of our workers, this is Uncle
                      Don saying so long for now.