Which is Worse, 1972

Yesterday my best friend died--
Of an overdose of Heroin,
He died not knowing what to do,
And he was going to die anyway.


I went up there to murder him,
But I arrived too late,
I saw the hearse,
So which is worse:  murder or being strung out on smack.


We'll go to his funeral today,
Many people will be there--crying,
But are they crying because he's dead,
Or are they crying because he has been dead for years?


I told someone why I came up here to murder my friend,
He congratulated me on my efforts,
But I asked my favorite question as I saw the hearse,
Which is worse:  murder or being strung out on smack--it's a killer!

While Recovering from the Flu

It's funny how
someone so beautiful
could give you
something so bad.


My sister, who I
like very much,
had the flu, and
she gave it to me.


Now, she is all
right, but I'm going
through it.


Oh where is someone that
I can give it to?

Untitled, 2004

 What does it matter?  I hear that said, but do I believe it?  Probably not.  I guess I care too much.  My conscience hurts.  Where are my friends?  A lot of advice, but no help.  Can I afford food, shelter, gas?  Yes, no, maybe.
 When I was younger, so much younger than today...  That summed it up best.
 Mother's gone.  Daddy's gone.  John has his world.  I have mine.
 How will it end?  Like BJ?  Maybe.  Like Wade?  Maybe.  Dying is not honorable, unless it is your time.  When is my time?  Is it less honorable to choose your time?  Probably.  Judy said it best.  She wanted to help people like me.  The crazies.  I don't know if she did or not.  She did marry Steve.  He wasn't crazy.  He was a musician.  51, huh?  I'm trying to fight.  But it may be time to go.  Hello, I must be going...  Where is the laughter?
 Where is the kid in me?  Did I ever grow up?  Am I growing up now?  Am I Job?  God, help me.  I pray for strength.  I pray for courage.  I pray for life.  I pray for help.  You are everything.  I am nothing.  I know I am special.  You have said so.  You have given me great talents.  I have used them for your glory.
 The glory and majesty of Your name.  Hallelujah  Hallelujah.  Spelling doesn't count.  Words mean nothing.
 What is an act?  What is real?
 Who am I?  Am I real?
 Roller coaster.
            Help.
 Depression, Sadness, Worry,
 No one loves me, or do they?
 Why am I alone?
             or am I?
 Shy and alone, or at least shy.
 I can't read what he wrote.  I can't read his writing.  I wish I knew he had problems.

Who can it Be

Bruce, John, Bob,
Tom, Ed, Larry,
Sam


Who are these people?
I don't know, but to
say that they're not
friends of mine.


Maybe they will be in
years to come, but these
people don't mean a thing
to me now.


Jane, Karen, Florence,
Mary, Sandy, Gladys,
Ellen


Who are these people?
I know some of them,
Maybe you know all of them,
But don't feel bad if you don't know anybody.

Where Is It?, 1983

Come down to me
                             little one.
               and see the lightness
         of your dreams.


Your eyes match the colors
           of the rainbow
on a sunny day,
         and your tears make
                    the dew seem real.


Catch the wind of your soul
                                            little one.
          and fly through the clouds
                of your mind.


And if we should see
           them together,
then find a place to
         be for New Year's Eve, 1984.


You are all you've got
                                   little one.

Where Am I Now? (Another Psychoanalytical Note), 1984

 Today could have been a very happy day.  Depression is such that I cannot pull up from it.  In reflecting on past thoughts of suicide, the question really remains--Why?  Why not?  A master's degree.  A high IQ.  Some talent towards writing and acting.  Good friends.  Good food.  Fun.
 I live a lie.  You who read this may have your act together.  If you do, that makes me happy.  I am not happy.  I haven't been for about five years. 
 Feeling sorry for yourself is one of my traits.  I find consolation in myself.  If my schizophrenia was such that I couldn't feel that way anymore, then I would go crazy.
 Today could have been a very happy day.

What or How?, 1969

What can it be,
How is it true,
That a tree,
Can't turn blue.


How does a plane fly,
What is a car belt,
How can a shoe string tie,
How have hands felt.


What does it mean,
To be a man,
That doesn't turn green,
Or into sand.


What or How is it,
Without why,
How does a horse's bit,
Differ from a dye?

What is Tradition?, 1971

Tradition is what we live by--
It's where we work and play,
Traditional schools,
Traditional churches,
Traditional life.


You must abide by tradition.


What is tradition?
It is the failure to be an individual.


Tradition by any other name is tradition,
So what is my mission?
It is to inform people about tradition,
This is my ambition.


Tradition is school,
That's not too cool,
Tradition is also church,
For this a lot of people search.


Tradition is with us all the day,
It is with us at work and play,
All the generations before me--
Like Tradition--don't you see?


Tradition is the failure to be an individual,
Why can't we be cool?

When I Love, 1990

When I think about the good times
That we shared together
I smile because I know
You love me.


When I see you sleeping
And you look so much at peace
I smile because I know
You love me.


When I dream (I dream of you)
When I smile (I think of you)
When I laugh (I laugh with you)
When I love (I love you)


When I share those magic moments
And that's what we call life
I smile because I know
You love me.

Was I In Your Dreams, 1990

Was I in your dreams last night?
Did I make you laugh or cry?
Were you happy to see me?
Was I in your dreams last night?


Was I in your dreams last night?

Untitled, 2010

What is the reason
What is the cost
What is the hopeless
What is the feeling
What is the purpose
What is the sin
What is the reason
God put me in

What is Life

What is life?
Mountains filled with paper mache?
Potions sprinkled on miracle men?
Careful anger sprouted by birth?
Zap!


What is death?
Timely wishes of expanding balloons?
White clouds spinning through tornadoes?
Careful anger sprouted by birth?
Zowie!


So when you put them
all together, they
 form--Zap Zowie,
   and that is destruction.

We are One

We are one,
 but we are two.


We sit and talk,
 but we run and are mute.


We laugh and play,
 but we are crippled.


We see our love,
 but yet we're blind.


So what I mean
 to say is this:


See that two heads
 are better than one.

What, 1971

Superman or Clark Kent,
Wonderman or meek and mild little child,
If you could be one or both,
Then it would be okay,
But everyone is far out and schizoid,
So who am I?
Maybe Clark Kent--or maybe not,
Who knows?

Well

Well, the time is right
 for all good men to
  try to fight a war
   that's injust.


Oh, we said that 10 years ago.


Well, the time is right
 for all good men to
  clean up the
   atmosphere for ecology.


Oh, we said that 5 years ago.


Well, the time is right
 for all good men to find
  a girl that they
   can marry.


Oh, we said that 1 year ago.


Well, that the
 way it goes.

A Wedding, 1975

Time after time
 Forever and ever,
  Hallelujah and Amen.


So go phrases which
 we all know and love,
  but for which we have
   no explanation.


If only the sun could
 creep upon us than
  having to resort to
   violence in the first degree.


Come back small world,
Come back to the level
that we once shared.
Come back and be glad,
for tomorrow you may die.

Weather, 1973

It don't rain in West Virginia,
Because they don't care,
And it don't snow in South Africa,
Because there ain't nobody there.


And it don't hail in Cincinnati,
Because nobody knows,
But it floods in Milwaukee,
Why?  Because the peaceful water flows.


Flows--Flows--Flows
Yes that water flows


Boop--Boop--Bee--doop.

Watergate, 1973

 Once upon a time, there was a king, and he ruled his country with an iron fist.  One day, a prince from a far corner of the kingdom came to the king and said that his kingdom was in danger of collapse.  The king laughed and said that it was ridiculous.  A few days later, some of the king's men were arrested for trying to disrupt the government.  The king did not know anything about it.  The moral to this story is that people become so isolated within themselves that they don't realize what goes on outside, so there's trouble.
                                                        The End I Hope

Waiting, 2002

It's 11 on Sunday
And 11 on Monday
And someday
You'll be calling me.


I'm waiting
I'm hoping
That one day
You'll be calling me.


Come see me,
Come hold me,
Come say to me,
You love me.


One day I'll be laughing,
One day I'll be crying,
One day I'll be saying,
That you are loving me.


I see you each morning,
I see you each evening,
I don't understand why
You're not calling me.


The phone is ringing
I am hoping it's you,
I pick up the phone...

Walter's Forty, 1993 (with apologies to Dolly Parton)

Here you come again to another year,
It's time you shifted into third gear,
The Heartbreak Express has come to a stop,
And the Tiger Rag has become a mop.


Old Flames can't hold a candle to you,
But then for you that's nothing new,
You work hard from Nine to Five,
Oh, the doctor said you're still alive.


It's all wrong but it's all right,
You're forty today and even tonight,
So what if your hair turns blue,
You know I'll always love you.

Waiting, 1991

I'm waiting
I'm waiting for an answer,
I'm waiting for a call,
I'm waiting for a cold one,
And I'm waiting till I fall.


I'm waiting for your voice,
I'm waiting for your smile,
I'm waiting to hear you,
And I've been waiting for a while.


I'm waiting for you,
I've been waiting for some time,
I'll wait a little longer,
Waiting can be a crime.


I'm waiting,
Waiting by my phone,
Waiting all alone,
Waiting for that tone,
Waiting.

Volunteers, 1971

 The fire had been blazing for three days.  It was still uncontrollable.  All the available fire trucks were exhausted.  Everyone in the town of Bleakville was too tired to fight anymore.
 The fire was in a warehouse of gasoline and oil products.  The company that owned the building was the Gaso Company.  All of the upper two floors of the building were burned, and the rest of the building was threatened.  The oil was burning at the present time, with the gasoline being threatened.
 Governor John Bartlow received a note from the Mayor of Bleakville urging him to send federal troops.  The note said, "Our town is on the brink of disaster.  It is doubtful that we will be able to keep the fire isolated.  We need your help."  The governor sent his aides to the National Guard Armory to look for volunteers.  Most of the Guard were at the local college trying to restore order.  The Guard commander told the aides that he could spare ten of his men.  So, the ten men were sent to Bleakville.
 By this time, the fire had gotten worse.  The first explosion of gasoline occurred at 3:54 P.M.  The Guard arrived at 4:03 P.M.  They tried water, carbon dioxide, and sand.  Nothing could stop it.  Another building started to burn.  This building was the warehouse for a gunpowder company.  A preacher told everybody to pray for floods, because that was what it would take to put out the fire.  All of the senior citizens were down on their knees.  They yelled, "Oh, sweet Jesus, please help us!"  They chanted this many times, always looking upward.  Suddenly, the crowd heard a thunderous roar.  The dam, holding back the mightiest river in the entire state, broke.  Water flowed down into the town.  People had to get on the tops of their houses, but the fire was out.  The Red Cross was called in to help the town.  Now, the town has their own lake.  Bleakville was proclaimed "The Water Capital of the World".  All their worries were over.

War, 1973

See the sun
 shine and
  think of
   kids having fun.


Is their fun REALLY fun?


Who knows.
Why don't you play with them?
At least you won't
be fighting with men.

Wade, 1975

There was no verse
 with the end of the Vietnamese.


There was no verse
 with the vision of a play.


But now the verse rises
 with the death of a friend.


And the world revolved
 around just a few in those
  days of high school and
   folks were getting higher.


One folk didn't make it,
 at least not until a few days
  ago, when he made his final
   high, and I didn't make the funeral.


Was his death for right,
 when he believed in Commies,
  and drugs, and wild things,
   and didn't know anything else?


There was no verse
 with the end of school.

Video Dream Girl

She's wild
She's sexy
She's beautiful,
She's my video dream girl.


I look at TV
Until my eyes rot,
I watch everything
'Cause I', looking for
My video dream girl.


I watch Metal and Rap,
Country and Oldies,
And all those ads for
Mail-order music
No one's heard of before
'Cause I'm waiting for my
Video dream girl.


Then, for three minutes I'm with her,
She smiles through the screen,
And I know we're meant to be together,
'Cause we have so much in common--
She's my video dream girl.


She leaves for a while,
But I know she won't go far,
All I've got to do is turn her on
She's my video dream girl.

A Visit to the Unemployment Office, 1980

 Unemployment is such a frightening word.  You think that it will never happen to you.  You see the percentages quoted on television, but 7% or 8% means nothing to you.  It doesn't matter, when gas prices are high and the economy is low.  But, what happens when your job runs out, and you are faced with this horror of no work?
 You go to the unemployment compensation office.  And what do you find there?  Three groups of people--those who don't care about anything; those who are very angry over the system; and those who want to just get it done and leave.  I was in the third group.  The employees of the office were in the first group.  The older, more experienced unemployed belonged to the second group.

Untitled, 1975

(written after approx. 7,845 days of living)


Almost eight thousand days
Since birth into this world
In Southern Baptist Hospital--
And the doctor is dead.


The Korean War was over,
Eisenhower was president,
"American Graffiti" was happening,
And thousands died in Vietnam.


We moved to Columbia,
I went to public schools,
Camelot was in Washington,
And a bullet killed Arthur.


It was on to high school,
The debates were wonderful,
The awards were beautiful,
And Arthur's brother was struck down.


College came in all its glory,
The plays were a success,
The awards again were beautiful,
And political sabotage was rampant.


Almost eight thousand days
Since birth into this world,
Very much has happened,
And maybe too much.

Untitled

The eternal struggle of
mankind as seen through
the eyes of one of its members
is totally false to anything ever seen.


The above comment was made by interplanetary communication of minds.